Category Archives: Feelings

Ignore Your Feelings

Posted on November 29, 2020 by jamesmatter

So, did that get your attention? What’s a therapist doing telling people to ignore their feelings? Aren’t we, the therapists, supposed to help people get in touch with their feelings? Not necessarily. This is going to be a relatively short … Continue reading →

Posted in anxiety, behavioral health, choices, Depression, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Distress tolerance, Emotions, Feelings, mental health, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Your Forgiveness is for You

Posted on July 30, 2020 by jamesmatter

I have not been posting very often because I continue to try to keep my original purpose of writing about things I haven’t seen mentioned elsewhere, but this piece was just too good to not pass along: it’s about forgiveness. … Continue reading →

Posted in Anger, arguing, betrayal, communication, Couples and relationships, Feelings, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Waiting

Posted on April 28, 2020 by jamesmatter

Many years ago when I was a college student, I went to visit a friend who lived in exurban Connecticut. My friend was the third of that name and was so called “Buddy,” the other names having been used on … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, choices, Crisis survival, Distress tolerance, Emotions, Feelings, Frustration, handling the unexpected | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Grief and Depression…

Posted on March 24, 2018 by jamesmatter

Are not the same. I remember a client once saying that she had broken up a longstanding relationship and her parents were worried about her becoming depressed. She was, in fact, on antidepressant medication and had been having problems. However … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Emotions, Feelings, Grief, Sadness, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Feelings About Feelings

Posted on October 20, 2017 by jamesmatter

Some time ago I noticed a common problem, or perhaps I should say problem about problems, that many clients shared– People would be down on themselves for being depressed, or angry with themselves about their anger problems, or would worry … Continue reading →

Posted in Depression, Emotions, Feelings, happiness, mental health, Recovery, Renewal, Sadness, spirituality, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 3 Comments

Seeking Safety– You Are Not Alone

Posted on October 28, 2016 by jamesmatter

  Seeking Safety is a manual driven treatment for PTSD and addiction, developed by Dr. Lisa Najavits. It was originally designed for use with all female groups, but has since been used with a wide variety of different populations. Over … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, behavioral health, belongingness, Emotions, Feelings, group therapy, hope, mental health, Recovery | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Self Pity versus Self Mourning

Posted on April 15, 2016 by jamesmatter

Just a quick thought & a question– what is the difference between feeling sad about something bad in your life, and feeling self-pity? This came up recently in a session, where a client worried about sinking into self-pity. this is … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, choices, Depression, Distress tolerance, Emotions, existentialism, Feelings, happiness, hope, mental health, mindfulness, Recovery, Renewal, Sadness, spirituality, Therapy processes, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Four Horsemen of the (relationship) Apocalypse

Posted on September 14, 2015 by jamesmatter

Some time ago I ran across a thing about Gottman’s (http://www.gottman.com/about-us-2/dr-john-gottman/) predictors of divorce. It was very interesting to me because Dr. Gottman has been doing what he’s doing for a very long time. When I was in school many … Continue reading →

Posted in belongingness, choices, Couple communication, Couples and relationships, Feelings, Frustration, reconciliation, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Can We Talk?

Posted on June 4, 2015 by jamesmatter

“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” According to Wikipedia, this quote, most commonly attributed to John Lennon, goes back to a (then) famous cartoonist in 1957. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beautiful_Boy_%28Darling_Boy%29 As time has passed, I’ve been conscious … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, Depression, Emotions, Feelings, Therapy processes | Tagged | Leave a comment

Luxury Problems? Compared to What?

Posted on March 8, 2015 by jamesmatter

People who have been exposed to the world of AA & other 12-step programs will be familiar with these phrases. Let’s focus on the first one first. Frequently, someone who is relatively new to recovery will start talking about how … Continue reading →

Posted in cognitive therapy, Emotions, existentialism, Feelings, happiness, Learning, luxury problems, mental health, Recovery, Sadness, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment