Author Archives: jamesmatter

About jamesmatter

Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) in private practice in San Francisco. I work with adults, adolescents, and couples, with focus on substance use and abuse and co-occurring disorders (having both a mental illness and an addiction).

Ignore Your Feelings

So, did that get your attention? What’s a therapist doing telling people to ignore their feelings? Aren’t we, the therapists, supposed to help people get in touch with their feelings? Not necessarily. This is going to be a relatively short … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, behavioral health, choices, Depression, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Distress tolerance, Emotions, Feelings, mental health, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

More on Mindfulness

It’s been a while. Like many Americans, I’ve been watching the news and riding the roller coaster. But something happened earlier today that brought me back to a kind of everyday mindfulness, which my Midwestern forebearers would have probably called … Continue reading

Posted in Crisis survival, dealing with change, Dialectical Behavior Therapy, Distress tolerance, mindfulness, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 1 Comment

An Inspirational Moment

I just have to share this, even though it’s far from new content and completely off topic for this blog. In a time of radical wealth inequality, there is a billionaire who has given away an eight billion dollar fortune. … Continue reading

Posted in hope, Uncategorized | Tagged | 2 Comments

It’s Not Bad to Feel Bad

I usually try to post something at least monthly, but I have fallen short of that goal. I also try to post on a topic that is not too common, or that relates to a personal interest, But no topic … Continue reading

Posted in behavioral health, Crisis survival, Distress tolerance, mental health, Trauma | 2 Comments

Your Forgiveness is for You

I have not been posting very often because I continue to try to keep my original purpose of writing about things I haven’t seen mentioned elsewhere, but this piece was just too good to not pass along: it’s about forgiveness. … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, arguing, betrayal, communication, Couples and relationships, Feelings, Uncategorized | Tagged | Leave a comment

Restraint, Asking for Help

I recently saw a post on social media representing nurses and pertaining to our newly-reinvigorated struggles for equality. “Friendly reminder that nurses have to restrain violent, confused, intoxicated and belligerent people all the time. And we make it happen without … Continue reading

Posted in behavioral health, change, Crisis survival, mental health, stigma of addiction, stigma of mental illness, Trauma, Uncategorized, Violence | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments

Respect the Trauma of Others

I have been in much the same emotional state as those reading, I expect. I’ll honestly admit– I did everything in my power to avoid the actual video of George Floyd being killed. But it was so prevalent that I … Continue reading

Posted in Anger, anxiety, choices, Crisis survival, Distress tolerance, reconciliation, Trauma, Uncategorized, Violence | Tagged | 2 Comments

Antidepressant Cow

To find out how antidepressant cow works, you will need to read the article linked below. While antidepressant cows will not necessarily work for everyone, the good news is that there are other things– multiple things– that will do the … Continue reading

Posted in Crisis survival, Depression, Distress tolerance | Leave a comment

Waiting

Many years ago when I was a college student, I went to visit a friend who lived in exurban Connecticut. My friend was the third of that name and was so called “Buddy,” the other names having been used on … Continue reading

Posted in behavioral health, choices, Crisis survival, Distress tolerance, Emotions, Feelings, Frustration, handling the unexpected | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Managing Health Anxiety

I am staying home like everyone else, surfing media like everyone else, most of it either humorous (my choice) or useless (most news as usual). But I ran across an item from someone who was writing as a self-proclaimed “recovering … Continue reading

Posted in anxiety, behavioral health, cognitive therapy, Crisis survival, physical health | Tagged , , , | 2 Comments