Author Archives: jamesmatter

About jamesmatter

Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) in private practice in San Francisco. I work with adults, adolescents, and couples, with focus on substance use and abuse and co-occurring disorders (having both a mental illness and an addiction).

The Parable of the Shopping Cart

Posted on December 27, 2018

Have you ever gone to a supermarket, gotten a shopping cart, started to push it up the aisle, and realized that it tended to pull to the right (or left)? It’s like a car that needs the alignment done. At … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, choices, Distress tolerance, mental health | Tagged , , | 2 Comments

Did You Plant Cotton?

Posted on November 29, 2018

Sooner or later,  people come to some issue where they may want to go it alone, but they need help. I sometimes confront people, but in a way I hope is gentle. I take hold of my shirt sleeve and … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, mental health, Uncategorized | Tagged | 2 Comments

The Boy Who Wanted to Be Happy

Posted on October 20, 2018

I have found myself recounting this story many times in the course of my professional work, most recently in the week just past. I read it many years ago in a collection of children’s stories, and I associate it with … Continue reading →

Posted in anxiety, behavioral health, Depression, Emotions, happiness, mental health, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 2 Comments

Resources on Youth, Vaping & Cannabis

Posted on October 11, 2018

I want to thank all the parents and youth who came to the cannabis forum informational event last Wednesday, October 17 at Manuel F. Cunha Intermediate School.You were very kind to me and to the other presenters. I was told … Continue reading →

Posted in Addiction, cannabis, mental health, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Pay Attention When I’m Talking to Me!

Posted on September 17, 2018

Just want to follow up on the last post, because I met with a client earlier a couple of weeks ago who specifically wanted to start working in a cognitive way. The hardest part of doing cognitive therapy, I’ve found, … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, change, cognitive therapy, mental health | Tagged , | 1 Comment

Power Tool Safety

Posted on August 20, 2018

A theme that I come back to again and again in my work with clients is that one’s mind is powerful. My joke about that is that you need to use such a powerful tool safely. Another thing to keep … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, cognitive therapy, mindfulness, Uncategorized | Tagged , | Leave a comment

The Life You Save May Be Your Own

Posted on July 11, 2018

My apologies to those who have been waiting. Someone who I see personally reminded me that I hadn’t posted anything for quite some time, and I reiterated that I first started this with the avowed intention of creating only original … Continue reading →

Posted in behavioral health, Depression, Distress tolerance, Emotions, Grief, mental health, suicide, Suicide prevention | Tagged | Leave a comment