Staying Married

I would suggest that the article also tells you how to treat someone you’re dating if you think you might want to marry them. The language is somewhat heterosexist, but I think the tips apply, for the most part, whether you’re in a hetero relationship or a same-sex relationship.

In my work with couples, I’ve found all the tips from the article to be keepers.  I casually mentioned one of them– “Would you rather be right, or be married?” to a neighbor in passing, and he later told me I’d saved his marriage. Well, no, he saved his marriage. But I did give him the tip.

Remember, a therapist is like a cab driver– the therapist can only take you where  you want to go, Otherwise, it’s kidnapping. The therapist can say “I don’t go there,” or “The route you want to take doesn’t really work,” or a lot of things. It can be a negotiation, but ultimately, the therapist works for you. And that’s another whole subject.


About jamesmatter

Marriage and Family Therapist (MFT) in private practice in San Francisco. I work with adults, adolescents, and couples, with focus on substance use and abuse and co-occurring disorders (having both a mental illness and an addiction).
This entry was posted in belongingness, Couples and relationships, happiness, mental health, Therapy processes, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

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